Thursday, January 6, 2011

The Buzz

So, all you coffee drinkers out there...this is tale to tell you how right you have always been.

There once was a girl who had grown and matured into a strong and healthy coffee drinker. Each morning and often each evening befor breakfast and after dinner she would enjoy a strong/bold cup of liquid gold. Savoring each sip she enjoyed the deep hints of chocolate in her beverage and the extra kick to your energy levels the warm cup of goodness afforded her.

Sadly, this relationship was not meant to last. Like any good growing addiction it had to be cut off at the roots.

So, off I road into the wild gray mist of quiting coffee. I have quite many things in my life and I figure another go at dropping the old cup o' joe would be a snap. must also be noted that at this time I was (and still am) working a job that had me arising from my bed around 5:30am every morning. THIS is a MASSIVE point of consideration in my humble opinion. Anyway, having had some experience with this type of situation in the past I decided I would switch to hot tea. Hot tea is a respectable hot drink...good for your drink less sugar...non-inflammatory the list goes on. So, my first day was a bit rough I was sleepy but it was early and I new I would snap out of it as the day went a long. 1pm...3pm...6pm...all passed at a crippling speed. I was sooo tired all day long I could hardly get any work done. I figured it was a first day issue and that as the week went on it would progressively better. Alas, I was mistaken....completely and utterly mistaken. There was little to no improvement from the first day of caffeinated solitude as there was from the tenth day. Still, I persevered determined to whip my slate clean of this "need" for my morning fuel. I continued on in agony for about a month and then that fateful day came when I decided to ever so slightly falter in my resolve.

My husband, for the past month, would ask me every morning if I wanted coffee or tea. He hates tea, but that is another issue/story for another time. So, I was getting ready early on morning when he popped his head into the bathroom and said it those three little words, " Coffee or Tea". And before I could stop myself the "Coffee" slipped right out of my mouth. Although, I could have taken it back I decided best to go with my instincts that morning. We trotted off to work and I began to slowly sip on my coffee throughout the morning. I began working and was amazed to find the pile of work on my desk almost disappearing before my eyes. I was getting lots of work done and wasn't really even considering how boring the work was either. Then I started getting faster and faster and faster until I hit it....THE BUZZ...I was multi-tasking like a mad woman. Instant messaging 2-3 people at once, checking up on some personal business, answering questions for people, assisting with various projects, while having the highest personal productivity day ever. Then it hit me.....It's the Coffee! I had not had coffee in a month and then one day it all came crashing down. I had so much caffeine my body didn't know what do with it all. So, it just went forwards, upwards, backwards, and any other which way you could think of.

Now you might be thinking, well she learned her lesson and went back to coffee. Nope! Back to the herbal tea I went running, but now I am a bit more back and forth. What is life without the continual pursuit of the perfect balance in all things.....BORING!

Friday, December 17, 2010

The Results Are In

Well, I must admit the "Well Intentioned" fiasco did not end with the great climax of confrontation that makes for a good story. No, sadly the charge for "food day" did itself in. After all of the treats were added up it was going to be a cool $11 for an in office Pizza Hut ordered lunch. That's right you heard me correctly ELEVEN DOLLARS! Now someone is free to correct me but that is the price people pay for a decent night out to dinner, NOT for a office lunch. Anyway, that being said after the price of lunch was announced to the team there was a massive "bow out" of the festive event, and it has now been reduced to a $5 pizza and pop lunch. Alas, nothing to report...I believe perhaps there was a small victory for those who like to keep to ourselves at our desks.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Well Intentioned

So, there are those know what and who I am talking about...THOSE people. The ones at work who start around the same time you did and think they have a "knack" for picking up the job quickly. But, no it is not in a super helpful and productive way it is in a I know a lot because of all my experience that I need to bestow on you. THOSE are the kinds of people I am talking about. And do they stop with talking about themselves non-stop or their personal accomplishments...NO, no they don't. They continue, and this is the worst part, they try and act like they like and people like them. They do this by going around and checking up on people, asking them how they are and pretending to be interested in their lives. Most of the time this is done with the intent of gathering gossip to share with other people in the office(another way to show others how much they know).

Now it is possible that you are thinking...well I genuinely care about people, and I do gossip on occasion...Oh no, I also like to talk about myself. DO NOT BE ALARMED! If you have even considered the fact that you could be one of these people that most definitely means you are not. Most of the time they are so oblivious to themselves they wouldn't even understand the above paragraph. Onward and upward...

So, I am experiencing one of these people at my place of work. They are easy to interact with for the most part but there has been a problem. That problem exists within a series of emails that have been dispersed throughout the office. This person is planning a "food day", seems harmless enough I know, but it is evil...pure evil. I receive this email the other week explaining how there is going to be this "team" party and we will be ordering food and if we would like to offer a suggestion it will be considered. The end of email states emphatically that "we will be committing to this event as a team". Here in lies the rub...definitive statements from one inferior to another. That is right folks this person started working the exact same day I did, has no more knowledge or authority than anyone else in the group and she is making definitive statement AT people. So, I have garnered some significant support from other co-workers not on my team to boycott the food day. So, I am currently working to graciously bow out and avoid any potential confrontation. The report is still out...

Now some of you may be thinking I am rude, mean, and unkind. You would be right in assuming all of these things. However, that is not the point. The point is that these people can't be allowed to persist. We can't just go on assuming they are well intentioned. We must seek them out for the true self-loving evil gnomes they are, bright and shiny on the outside and hollow and moldy on the inside.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

A New Job

New jobs are like new cars. They are bright and shiny...they have that "new job" smell. You are so excited you have it that you potentially overlook certain things that will come back to haunt you in the end. You are so enamored with it and you have yet to discover all those little things you could def. do without or what you really wished you had. You haven't yet begun to settle in to occasionally complaining about what you wish were different or what you will be sure to do next time. Or, as a means of compensation you talk about the good points while the bad ones nag at you in the back of your mind. Then soon that subconscious nagging comes to the for front and you begin to search for people who feel the same way you do.

...By the way we are strictly talking about jobs now...though you could continue to draw a car parallel, but this conversion is much slower with a car than with a job so I figured it best to drop the comparison before you begin to be dis-interested with my thought...

Anyway, so you then find people who get annoyed with the same things you do and then you all interact with a bit of light complaining and commiserating on a break or lunch period. Soon you have a group of like minded complainers who talk about everyone else and how they don't do their job right or how your supervisor shouldn't have his job and the list goes on and on.

I started a new job this week, but as an individual who starts lots of new jobs(not because I get fired I just move a lot) I have observed this metamorphosis quite often. Most of the time one has to have stealth reflexes in order to avoid getting sucked into the great vortex of dis-contentedness. However, there are those few occasions when you get directly confronted with a "can you believe(insert name of annoying person) they are so lazy"...and then what are you supposed to do. I for one just give a slight nod and a half smile and say "yup" and then quickly walk away or return to my computer and appear to be very engrossed in what I am doing.

Perhaps you might think it would be better to confront the issue head on. I am glad you brought this up, because I have done this very thing before. Most of the time when you respond with a positive statement the complaining individual just continues to work to persuade you to their negative perspective and the situation spirals rather quickly. No for once in my life I believe in being a passivist. So LET'S GO MEDIOCRITY IN THE WORK PLACE! and you enjoy that new job smell while it lasts.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Bread Rolls

Mmmmmm fresh bread no matter if it comes from your oven or your local baker or perhaps your local bread artisan. :) Most people love the smell, touch, and taste of freshly baked bread.

HOWEVER, most people do not love a "bread roll" that has appeared uninvited and unwanted to their mid-section. Ever since our lovely Thanksgiving dinner I feel as though an unwanted guest has been hanging around and making my pants and shirts feel very uncomfortable. It is that awkward and uncomfortable feeling that every time you sit down you know people look over at you as that little flashing light goes blinking through their mind with the simple thought of..."Ooo she has put on some weight"

Ahhhh I hate that! It just doesn't work anymore to have a plate full of that much starch. Have you ever noticed that at most holiday dinners...your plate is 20% protein 70% carbohydrates and maybe...if you come from a "healthy" family you just might have 10% of your plate filled with vegetables.

p.s. This does not include desert which is an additional 100% portion to consider and it is most often sugar and carbs.

Anyway, now that I have ruined the joy of a full tummy stuffed with warm, soothing carbohydrates I will let you off to consider how to slice your bread roll down to size...well at least mine anyway.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Thanksgiving is for the birds!

Well yes, it is actually for the birds weather duck or turkey most people will be consuming some sort of bird tomorrow. That is unless you are one of those "ham" people. That's right you know who you are...

At my house we will be partaking of a herb butter roasted turkey mainly because the duck was about $40...seriously $40...that is crazy!

Still, I have a lot to be thankful for on this cold gray season.

1) My mom has cancer and the one defining factor that tells us how she is doing has come back with a resounding positive report. That's right those numbers have gone down and here is hoping and praying they will stay there.

2) I am thankful for my husband cause he is growing a goatee...(shhh I hate goatees)...I am actually thankful for him because he has a fantastically firm character.

3) I am thankful for my family because they always WANT to be together on the holidays. :)

Best to keep things in threes or you lose your audience. Well, there isn't really much of an audience, but for those who might stumble across this while looking for some political blog...I probably lost you already.

Be well, have a brilliant Thanksgiving and may we all have the best naps of the year after that goofy hormone in Turkey kicks in and renders us all immovable.


Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Who wants to go swimming?

I love to go swimming. I like going with friends, playing king of the hill, underwater tag, random games of competition. I love swimming laps and just being surrounded by water in general.

However, there isn't really any reason I should have such an affinity for this activity seeing as I am currently living in Wisconsin, and swimming is an activity that you can only participate in for about 3 months out of our year. In this great state of Wisconsin I am not alone in my desires, though I like to think I exercise a bit more propriety in expressing my fervent desire to jump in the water and soak up as much vitamin D as possible. Meaning I swim alone and with "proper" attire (interpret how you wish).

Still, I have been trying to figure out where I got this ridiculously strong desire to jump into any body of water that is respectably warm enough. It hit me while I was watching this fantastic movie from...well a long time's called "Cheaper By the Dozen" and it is a classic story of a strong conservative father and 12 kids coming of age, dating, and going swimming at a public beach etc.. Either way these old movies always have a beach scene of some kind. I would always begin day dreaming about being at some beach somewhere and getting to lay in the sun all day while jumping in and out of the water.

Either way it is around 32 degrees today and apart from the extra chub that's sitting around my mid section, I can't think of anything I would rather do than jump right into the ocean. Oh well, 10 more months to day dream in a florescent lit room with gray carpet and white, white walls...

Anyone want to go swimming?